


Let Me Photograph You In This Light (In Case It Is The Last Time)

by xitsshad



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But not quite, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Lives, Reincarnation, Surprise! - Freeform, Weddings, author seungyoun, barista wooseok, hangyul and seungwoo are there for a split second, there's mcd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-14 20:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21022034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xitsshad/pseuds/xitsshad
Summary: “If I had known what would happen next, I would’ve kissed him a little harder. Held him a little tighter.”or,Seungyoun, a successful author, retells his previous life, where circumstances tore him and Wooseok apart.





	Let Me Photograph You In This Light (In Case It Is The Last Time)

**Author's Note:**

> hello. i wrote another seungseok!  
just a clarification: the parts in present tense are seungyoun talking about the book during the conference.  
the parts in past tense are flashbacks! keep this in mind.  
i hope it isn't too confusing since its 1:34am and i just betaed it myself  
enjoy! title from adele - while we were young <3

“And the National Book award goes to… Cho Seungyoun!”

Seungyoun rises from his seat, bowing to everyone around him, his usual bright smile on his face. He reaches the stage, and takes the prize in his hands, admiring it. 

He goes up to the podium, and takes the microphone.

“Hello, everyone. My name is Cho Seungyoun and I’m the author of _Lifetimes_.” he starts, bowing a little. “I want to thank every single one of you for choosing my book as the best, and everyone who has read it and liked it.”

He pauses, recollecting himself. “This book is really important to me. Everyone says that the person I’m describing in the book feels extremely real. And that’s because he is. He was, and he always will be.” he takes a deep breath. “He’s my soulmate. But he’s not here with me right now, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance to see him again. I’ll leave the interpretation to you, though. I wrote this book for him, but the moment it was published, it became for everyone. That’s why I wrote no names. This person can be whoever you want.”

“I want to talk about some of the chapters, though, if you don’t mind.” he turns to the announcer, who only shakes her head and nods for him to continue. “I’ll give a bit of insight. And maybe you’ll fall in love with him the way I did, a lifetime ago.”

-

_January_

The way they met was painfully cliché. 

Seungyoun rushed into a dimly lit coffee shop, trying to escape the rain, mentally cursing his roommate Yohan for ditching him in favor of his boyfriend and leaving him stranded. He opened the door, a bell above him jingling, signaling his entry.

Feeling completely soaked, he tried to shake a bit of the rain off him, feeling sorry for the mess he was making on the floor, but to no avail.

He walked up to the counter, not even looking up, too busy rummaging through his things to find his wallet. Eventually, he lifted his head, and he’s met with one of the most breathtaking sights he’d ever seen. 

The barista was _pretty._ Painfully so. But he wasn’t just pretty, he thought. He was devastatingly beautiful, surrounded by a mighty aura, looking like he was just ready to take his heart and crush it in his hands. 

Seungyoun must have been spacing out for quite a while since the barista tried to catch his attention by waving one of his elegant hands in front of his face.

“Are you okay?” he asked, and wow. His voice was totally unexpected, deep and vibrant, extremely pleasant to the ears. 

Seungyoun recollected himself before he found himself spacing out again. “Uh, yes. Sorry. Long day.”

The barista, _Wooseok_, as his nametag says, chuckled. “I can imagine. What can I get for you?”

“An iced americano, please. No sugar.”

Wooseok nodded and started punching in the order, shaking his head. “Is it for the aesthetic or are you just a masochist?” 

“Why would I be a masochist? Sugar ruins the flavor of the coffee. You’re the barista, you should be agreeing with me.” Seungyoun pouted, offended. How dare he question his amazing taste in coffee.

Wooseok then laughed, and the whole menacing aura he had going on started fading a bit. “Maybe. But I just like sweet things. And you don’t look like the ‘iced americano, no sugar’ type.”

“And what would that type be?” Seungyoun questioned, surprised by the fact that the pretty barista was trying to make conversation with him.

“You know, stuck-up, pretentious assholes with a briefcase that like to take out their frustrations on poor baristas like me,” Wooseok explained, taking the finished drink from one of his colleagues. “Your name?”

“Seungyoun,” he replied. “Also, aren’t you stereotyping a little too much?”

The other shrugged, “Nah, you can be the exception, though.” he offered the drink to Seungyoun, subtly smiling. “Enjoy your liquid hell.”

“Oh, I will.” And if his heart skipped a beat when their hands touched as he was taking his coffee, no one will ever know.

-

“Of course, I went back to the coffee shop the next day. And the day after, and also the day after that, until he decided it was enough and he scribbled his number on my coffee, along with the phrase _‘since you won’t ask’_ in his neat handwriting.” he explained, making the audience softly giggle.

“From then, we were texting each other every day, and I swear, it was like we were made for each other. I know how it sounds, but it’s true. We fit together perfectly, like the two missing pieces of an unfinished puzzle.”

“We had our first date a week after he gave me his number, and it was amazing. It felt so natural, so comfortable to be with him that I didn’t even kiss him that day. I knew we could take it slow, because it was clear we were made for each other.”

“But as you know, if you read the book, I didn’t wait too long to kiss him,” Seungyoun says, chuckling. “After all, he was irresistible. Perfect for me.”

-

_February_

“Yohan, I’m gonna do it tonight.”

Seungyoun’s roommate turned his head from his position on the couch. “It’s a little creepy if you plan it, you know. What if he doesn’t want to?”

The older sat beside him and sighed. “You’re right. I’m going crazy.”

Yohan reassuringly pat him on the shoulder. “Listen, hyung. Wooseok clearly likes you. You don’t have to overthink it. Let it happen naturally.” he said. “Now, go fix your hair and head out, you’re gonna be late.”

Unsurprisingly, he was, indeed, late. He rushed out of their shared apartment with his jacket half put on, trying to send a text to Wooseok along the lines of _sorry im late im a dumbass sjfkdsl, _and started sprinting to reach the restaurant they were supposed to meet at.

When he reached said place, he spotted Wooseok from far away, looking so tiny in his oversized yellow sweater and black beret. He had to physically restrain himself from cooing at the other’s cuteness, so different from the first time they’d met. 

Seungyoun ran up to him and crouched down, trying to catch his breath. He should stop skipping leg day at the gym. “Hi, Wooseok. I’m so sorry I’m late.”

Wooseok smiled, carding his fingers through Seungyoun’s hair, ruffling it a bit. “You’re not even that late. You could’ve walked, you know.” 

His heart swelled at the sweet gesture and he smiled back at him. “Didn’t wanna make you wait.” Wooseok rolled his eyes playfully, and pulled him up. “Let’s go, I’m hungry.”

They end up sharing a big bowl of noodles, along with a portion of chicken feet, courtesy of Wooseok.

They talked throughout the entire dinner, never seeming to run out of topics. The other looked so quiet and reserved, but once he opened up, he was extremely talkative. Seungyoun smiled, leaning his head on his hand and listening to Wooseok babble about his university professors and how they were all assholes.

“You seem to consider everyone an asshole, Wooseok.” Seungyoun chuckled.

“Mostly. Not you, though,” he replied, grinning cheekily. 

“We are on our third date; it’d be kinda embarrassing if you thought I was an asshole.”

Wooseok laughed, and the world got brighter. Seungyoun was still shocked at how the boy in front of him managed to enter his life and how he settled in it so easily. It was so, so easy being with Wooseok, and he didn’t want to let the other go, never again.

The two finished their dinner and paid, and sooner than expected they were standing outside the restaurant, ready to go home. 

“I had fun tonight, Seungyoun. Thank you.” Wooseok said.

Seungyoun looked at him warmly and smiled. “Me too,” he paused, “so much fun that I don’t really want the night to end.”

Wooseok’s eyes seemed to brighten up at the words. “Me neither. Let’s grab some beers and go hang out by the river?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

They ended up sprawled on the grass, the flickering city lights looking at them from the other side of the river, a bottle of soju and a pack of chips in the space between them.

Seungyoun looked at Wooseok and noticed the other staring intently at the sky. 

“What are you thinking about?” 

Wooseok stared at the shimmering stars for a little longer, then he turned to Seungyoun. “Nothing. Everything. I don’t really know. But I feel happy.” he smiled.

Seungyoun nodded. That’s what he was feeling too. Warm, happy, sated. Wooseok’s presence was like a warm tea during the winter and like the sea in the summer - comforting and refreshing. He reached down and takes Wooseok’s hand, holding tightly in his. When he felt the other squeeze back, he was convinced all the planets in the universe had aligned just for him to experience this particular moment. 

Wooseok was close. So close that Seungyoun could make out all the little details of his face, from the way the street lamps cast shadows all over his face, making his eyes shine even brighter than before, to the way his gaze kept falling down to his lips.

A hand came to cup his cheek. “Can I?” he asked, softly, and Seungyoun couldn’t do anything but dumbly nod, because even if he planned to be the one kissing the other, he didn’t care, because they were finally kissing. 

Wooseok’s lips were soft, as soft as the way he kissed - unhurriedly, slow and languid, like they had all the time in the world. And at the time, it felt like they did.

Seungyoun tugged Wooseok closer, pressing him in by the hand splayed at the small of Wooseok’s back, deepening the kiss. 

Seungyoun’s lips withdrew from Wooseok’s only when they needed to breathe, and Wooseok’s eyes stayed closed for a long beat. He looked so small, caged in his arms, a little smile playing across his lips. Seungyoun couldn’t help but press a fleeting kiss to the other’s forehead. Was it too soon to say he was in love? Maybe. But with the way Wooseok looked at him when he opened his pretty eyes, full of adoration, he felt like there was nothing to lose. 

-

“That night, I went to his apartment.” Seungyoun smiles, unable to keep his feelings from showing at the memory. “I learned a lot of things that day. How beautiful it is to fall in love, and how beautiful it is to be reciprocated. How breathtaking he was both during the day, all dressed up and with a tiny bit of makeup, and during the night, covered in sweat and so, so close. And how excruciatingly good it feels to wake up holding the person you love.”

He pauses. “From then on, we were inseparable. But it wasn’t always all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes we cried, sometimes we got hurt. But we always found our way back to each other.”

-

_November_

“I really can’t believe you right now, Seungyoun.”

Seungyoun knows. He knows that if he goes down this path, he’ll regret it. But he’s already in too deep, and he can’t stop.

“Me? You can’t believe me?” he scoffs. “I can’t believe _you_. Hanging out with your ex? Really?”

“He might be my ex but we’re friends, Seungyoun. I’m sorry my entire world doesn’t revolve around you.” Wooseok hissed.

Seungyoun let out a bitter laugh. “And you conveniently forgot to tell me that you were hanging out with him?”

Wooseok sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “I don’t have to tell you everything I do. I have free will.”

“Your idea of free will is hanging around with your ex?” Seungyoun retorts, regretting his words the second they left his mouth. 

“Are you implying that I cheated on you?” Wooseok exclaims, visibly shocked.

“You’re the one jumping to that conclusion. Says a lot.” Seungyoun says. He wishes he could erase Wooseok’s pained expression, he wishes he could make him smile again, and it’s all his fault that they were fighting. Just because he overreacted over the most trivial thing in the world.

Angry tears built up in Wooseok’s eyes. Seungyoun felt like dying. “You really think this low of me? You really think I’d cheat on you?” Wooseok asked, a stray tear escaping his eyes, betraying him. 

Seungyoun felt his eyes water, mirroring the other’s. “I don’t know anymore.” But of course he does, he knows Wooseok would never do this do him. And yet why is he saying this? Why is he hurting them both?

“I can’t stay here.” Seungyoun stared at Wooseok collecting his things, taking his jacket and wiping his eyes with his sleeve. His trance was broken only when he heard the door slam.

Just a minute and the house already felt empty. It felt like something- someone was missing. And it was. His missing puzzle piece was gone, and it was all Seungyoun’s fault.

He buried his face in the sleeves of his sweater, and he let himself cry. He cried for what felt like hours, regretting every second and every dumb word he said during their fight. If Wooseok was gone for good, he had no one to blame, but himself.

-

“Seungyoun. You don’t imagine how close I am to punching you.”

Seungyoun didn’t know what time it was. Since Wooseok left, his routine consisted only of sleeping, eating and feeling like shit. Yohan appearing in front of his bed, face livid and stern expression, definitely wasn’t in his plans.

“Yohan? What the fuck do you want,” he said, muffled by the pillow that was covering his face. “It’s morning, leave me alone.”

Yohan’s voice grew even more furious. “It’s 2 PM, you dumbass. Now, you’re getting out of bed and you’re listening to me because it’s only been two days and I’m fucking tired of you moping all day.”

After Yohan had to physically maneuver him off the bed and into the bathroom, the two roommates found themselves sat on the couch, the younger staring intently at Seungyoun. 

“Just say I’m a dumbass. I already know.”

Yohan scoffed. “You’re a dumbass and an asshole.” 

Seungyoun knows it. He knows he's been an asshole, that he spat out words without meaning just because his pride wanted him to win that stupid argument. But that stupid argument resulted in Wooseok leaving, eyes glassy, and Seungyoun physically couldn't bear to reach out to the other. Not when he knows he's been the source of all the pain. 

Silence engulfs the room, and it's weird, because they're usually noisy and annoying, always bickering. But Yohan is looking at him with that judgmental look in his eyes, a mixture of disappointment and anger. 

“Don't look at me like that. I told you I know it's my fault.” Seungyoun muttered, looking down. 

“Then why are you here? Why aren't you at Wooseok's house, saying sorry as you should be?” Yohan questions, calmly. “Do something, Seungyoun.”

Seungyoun shakes his head. If only it was that easy. The only easy thing was overthinking everything – every single aspect of their relationship. What if Wooseok was better without him? If he got this jealous and aggressive over a simple matter like Wooseok hanging out with a _friend_, would their relationship be stable? Would Wooseok be happy?

“I can hear the cogs in your head turning from here.” Yohan takes his hand. “Listen, Seungyoun. I just don't want to see you destroy this. I see how happy you are. You both are. And this is a stupid misunderstanding. Just, communicate. Reach out. Wooseok is just waiting.”

And maybe Yohan is right. Maybe it's just that easy. In the end, it's never been difficult with Wooseok. He's making everything complicated when instead Wooseok has always made it so, so easy to be with him. Being with Wooseok was as easy as breathing. So what was he doing? 

He stood up abruptly, making Yohan jump a bit in his seat. He reached for his phone and his jacket, and in a second he was out, not before telling a _thank you_ to his roommate. 

The road to Wooseok’s apartment wasn't long, but time had never felt so excruciatingly slow. On the bus, his leg kept jumping. He didn't even know what to say to the other. Sorry wasn't enough. But he knew that even if he prepared a monologue beforehand, everything would turn to dust at the sight of Wooseok’s face. 

Before he could process it, he was getting off the bus and walking up to Wooseok’s apartment. He knew the passcode, but it felt wrong to barge in uninvited. So he rang the doorbell, and waited. 

“Hello?”

And there it was, the voice he longed for, every day of his life, and even more during the days they were apart. Being unable to listen to the other's voice was torture. 

Seungyoun took a deep breath. “It's me, Wooseok.”

Silence. Seungyoun sighed, ready to turn around and go back home to hide in his bed and cry. Unexpectedly, he heard the door unlocking, along with a _come up_.

Climbing up to Wooseok’s floor, Seungyoun felt dizzy. He didn’t think this much through - he thought Wooseok wouldn’t want to see him, not now, not anytime soon. But instead, he was raising his fist to knock softly at the door, unaware of what was about to unfold.

The door opened to reveal a tired Wooseok, eyebags dark and stern gaze. He looked like he wasn’t sleeping well, and the first thing that came to Seungyoun’s mind was _I did this to him._

“You look like shit,” was the first thing he heard Wooseok say. 

“You do too,” he replied. Wooseok stepped to the side, sighing, silently inviting Seungyoun inside.

They sat on the couch, and Seungyoun was reminded of his discussion with Yohan. How the other said that he shouldn’t destroy this. But Wooseok wasn’t even looking at him, and he couldn’t help but feel like he already destroyed it all.

But he had to try. He wasn’t letting Wooseok drift away so easily.

“Wooseok,” he started, nervously fiddling with his hands. “I’m sorry.”

The other turned to look at him, the same unbending stare reflected in his pretty eyes. “Sorry won’t cut it, Seungyoun.” 

Seungyoun ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I know. I know it can’t. But, listen to me.” he raised his head, looking directly at Wooseok. “I love you. I love you more than anything else in the world. And I’m really, really sorry. I took it out on you when actually, it was me being jealous. I could’ve talked it out with you but I said things I don’t mean.”

Seungyoun noticed Wooseok’s gaze faltering, his eyes getting a little glassy.

“I understand if you don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore,” he continued, a pained smile blooming on his lips, “but I swear I’ll be better. I can be better, for you. Because I’m painfully in love with you.”

A beat of silence. Wooseok stared at Seungyoun, pensive, an unreadable expression on his face. Then suddenly, he stood up, and Seungyoun shut his eyes, because he couldn’t bear the pain of seeing the other leave, already feeling a sting behind his eyelids.

But when he opened them again, Wooseok was standing in front of him, and before he could register what was happening, Seungyoun felt the other wrap himself around his body, making him fall back into the couch. 

“Don’t blame everything on yourself, Youn,” he heard the other whisper, holding him a little tighter. “I played my part too. I’m sorry.” 

Seungyoun closed his eyes, melting into the embrace, and shook his head. “You didn’t do anything, baby.” He drew Wooseok closer, lips brushing against his hairline. “I’ll be better from now on.”

Wooseok lifted his head from Seungyoun’s chest. “I should’ve told you. I should’ve thought about how you could feel about me hanging out with him.” He drops a fleeting kiss to the corner of Seungyoun’s lips, making the other smile. “I didn’t even think about it because I trust you. Because being with you is so natural that anything else disappears.”

“We’re both a little dumb.” Seungyoun laughed, dropping kisses all over Wooseok’s face, making him giggle.

He wouldn’t trade this for anything else. 

-

“I knew I needed to keep him in my life forever,” Seungyoun starts. “We were meant for each other. He was my moon and I was his stars. So, the obvious step in our relationship didn’t take long. I still remember how pretty he was, how his eyes shone, when I asked him to forever be mine.”

He smiles to himself, relishing in the sweet memory. “When he said yes, it was like all the planets aligned, just for us to live that exact moment. Us, and us alone.”

“Not long after, we got married. It was simple and sweet, but overflowing with love. Just like our relationship. It might be cheesy to say this, but it was definitely the happiest day of my life.” He continues. “I’d give anything to live it again, for even just a brief second.”

-

_April_

“I can’t believe you’re getting married.”

“I can’t believe it either,” Seungyoun exhaled shakily, pacing nervously around the changing room. “What if he changes his mind?”

Yohan sighed for what felt like the thousandth time. “He _won’t,_ you dumbass. You’re literally soulmates. I bet he’s in the other room bothering Seungwoo with the same bullshit.”

Seungyoun pouted at the younger. Deep down, he knew that what they have is special. One of a kind. But he couldn’t keep his mind at bay. Why would someone like Wooseok marry someone like him? Wooseok was perfect. He was beautiful, talented, kind. And he was just… Seungyoun.

“Seungyoun, stop thinking. This is your big day. I want to see you smiling only, okay?” Yohan said, squeezing his cheeks and bringing the corners of his mouth into a crooked smile. “Everything is going to be amazing and by the end of the day you’ll have scored yourself a hot husband.”

He giggled, thankful for Yohan’s contagious, cheerful mood. “Careful, there. He’s _my_ husband.” He pulled the younger in for a hug. “Thank you for being here, Yohan. And for putting up with me all this time.”

Yohan hugged him back, and he’d never been more thankful for his best friend than at that moment. “It’s my job,” he laughed.

_Time to go!_, someone yelled from outside the door, interrupting their bonding moment, and Seungyoun froze. Yohan patted him on the butt, a comforting gesture, and he willed himself to calm down. He took one last look at the elongated mirror; the tux he was wearing was full black, matching with Wooseok’s all-white one. He ran a hand through his hair, making sure it was all right.

Before he knew it, he was standing at the altar, facing an empty space that would soon be filled.

Seungyoun exchanged a nervous look with Hangyul, one of his closest friends, who offered to be the one to marry them, to which they both agreed happily. At Seungyoun’s nervous, shaky glance, he just shook his head and winked. Typical.

Suddenly, he saw out of the corner of his eyes the people behind him stand and heard the hushed whispers of the guests, and he knew it was time. He turned around, but nothing could’ve ever prepared him to the sight of his soon-to-be husband.

Walking down the aisle attached to Seungwoo’s arm, Wooseok looked absolutely ethereal in his white suit, making him look like royalty. Seungyoun could make out a light, pinkish makeup adorning his glittering eyes, and he felt his breath catch in his throat. When their gazes met, Wooseok’s lips curled into one of his signature tight-lipped smiles, and Seungyoun almost loses all grip on reality. Next thing he knows, he’s subtly wiping at his eyes, tears threatening to spill.

As soon as Wooseok was in reach, he extended an arm for the other to take. Wooseok detached himself from Seungwoo, and held Seungyoun’s hand, guiding him to stand before him.

“Don’t cry, Youn. You’ll make me cry too, and I can’t ruin my makeup.” Wooseok jokes, but his eyes were already a little glassy.

“I can’t help it,” Seungyoun says. “You look gorgeous.”

“You don’t look that bad yourself.” He joked.

After they both managed to pull themselves together, the ceremony continued. Before they knew it, it was already time. Hangyul presented them the rings, and Seungyoun picked it up between his thumb and his forefinger, shakily moving it towards Wooseok’s outstretched finger.

“Kim Wooseok, I still don’t know why you chose me out of seven million people in the entire world, but I’m so glad you did. I can’t promise you I’ll be perfect, because I’m not, but what I can promise is that you’ll be loved forever, for every day of your life. Until death do us part.”

Wooseok mouthed an _I love you,_ and in turn, slipped the ring onto Seungyoun’s finger.

“Seungyounie, you’ve made me the happiest man already for all this time. I used to believe true love didn’t exist, but if it’s not what I feel for you, what I feel right now, then I don’t know what it is. You don’t have to doubt yourself, because you’re everything I ever needed. You’re the best part of me, and I love you so much.”

Seungyoun couldn’t help it but shed some more tears, but Wooseok wiped them away before he could get to them, gazing lovingly at him.

Hangyul’s rehearsed lines finally reverberated through the crowd. “Cho Seungyoun, do you take this man, Kim Wooseok, to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and to hold forever, in sickness and in health?”

Seungyoun nodded. A tear slipped – again, down his face, but he did nothing to wipe it away. Getting rid of it would require his hands to leave Wooseok’s, and that was something he didn’t want to do just yet. “Of course I do,” he answered, barely above a whisper.

Wooseok smiled, holding his hands tighter. “Kim Wooseok, do you take this man, Cho Seungyoun, to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and to hold forever, in sickness and in health?” Hangyul asked Wooseok this time.

“I do,” he replied.

Finally, Hangyul grinned. “You may now kiss your husband.”

Seungyoun lunged forward, crashing his mouth into Wooseok’s. When their lips met, it felt like the world around them disappeared and became white sound.

He felt his lover’s arms locking behind his nape, and in turn, he pulled him closer, holding him close by his waist.

When they pulled away, Wooseok rested his forehead against Seungyoun’s, staring into his eyes, a little smile playing on his lips.

They didn’t need words.

-

“And if I knew, I would’ve held tighter. That day, and every day after that.” He says shakily into the microphone. “It felt like forever, for a bit. But destiny decided to play with us, in the cruelest way possible.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “It was unexpected. It felt like just any other day. I said bye and kissed him when he left for work in the morning. We were supposed to meet at a restaurant that night.”

“If I had known what would happen next, I would’ve kissed him a little harder. Held him a little tighter.”

-

_September_

He got the call at almost midnight. Or was it later? He had no idea. The world crashed around him when the doctor said _Kim Wooseok, accident. _He couldn’t process anything else.

His body moved on autopilot, grabbing the car keys with shaky hands and rushing to the hospital, gaze clouded by unshed tears. All worst-case scenarios started playing in his head, making him dizzy.

He manages to reach the hospital in one piece, and runs to the receptionist, asking for a Kim Wooseok.

“One second,” the woman says, but every second apart from his lover is like a stab in the guts. He doesn’t know how much time they have left – it could be a minute, an hour, or a week. Or forever, if he dares to hope.

But by the look she gives him when she tells him, “Room 2710,” he doesn’t dare to.

After the longest elevator ride of his life, he got to the right floor and pushed frantically the door to Wooseok’s room.

And the sight that welcomed him was something he’d carry around for the rest of his life.

Wooseok had always been tiny and looked delicate, a little fragile, but never like this. His body was covered in scrapes and ugly bruises, and what seemed like thousands of tubes were coming out from all over his figure. His eye was purple and swollen shut and he was wearing a neck brace.

Seungyoun rushed to his bedside, immediately holding the other’s hand in his. He registered the doctor in the room saying _we’re preparing for surgery in five,_ but his gaze was solely focused on his husband.

Feeling a hand holding his, Wooseok’s pretty eyes fluttered open, and a little smile appeared on his face at the sight of Seungyoun.

“You’re here,” he mutters weakly, muffled by the respirator.

“Of course, love,” Seungyoun sobs, “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” A tear falls down on the other, and rolls down his face.

Wooseok weakly raises a hand, cupping his cheeks, and mouths _don’t cry._ But how can he not? The love of his life, his muse, his universe, is slipping away, like sand falling through his fingers, and he can’t do anything about it. He’s powerless.

“Don’t leave me, Wooseokie,” he whispers brokenly. “We promised we’d be together forever.”

His husband’s eyes get glassy. “I’m sorry I can’t keep that promise, baby.” His breath started to get even more shallow, his chest heaving.

“Kiss me one last time, Cho Seungyoun.” He whispered then, pulling away the respirator with trembling hands.

Seungyoun wants to argue, wants to tell him that it won’t be the last, but they both knew it. Their time is running out.

He leaned down, and pressed his lips to Wooseok’s, softly, like it was the first time all over again. The doctors started to yell something from behind him, but they became white noise. All he felt, all he will ever feel again, is _Wooseok, Wooseok, Wooseok._

When he pulled away, the other put his respirator back on and caught his wrist with his weak hand.

“Wait for me, love. I’ll find you again,” he breathed, eyes falling shut.

Suddenly, he was pushed aside by a bunch of doctors, and before he knew it, Wooseok was rolled away to undergo surgery.

Seungyoun let himself fall to the ground, his knees failing him, and buried his face in his hands, his body shook by heartbreaking sobs, earning pitiful stares from the other people in that cold, cruel place.

He didn’t care about people, he only cared about one single other person in the universe.

But he never came back from that room.

-

“I bet you’re shocked,” Seungyoun laughs, contrasting with his tear-stained face. He can make out quite a few people in the audience, wiping their tears as well.

“There’s something I haven’t told anyone, in fact. You all know the ending of the book. It’s a very happy one, right? Well, my story wasn’t. My soulmate, the love of my life, didn’t make it. We couldn’t grow old together. We had so many plans, but life decided to fuck us over.”

“So, I wanted to give you all a happy ending. I want you to fight for your own. Because a literal lifetime has passed, but I haven’t stopped fighting for mine.” He finishes, smiling to the people in the room.

“Thank you again for loving my book and my story.” He pauses, “Our story.”

-

The conference is followed by a book signing session. Seungyoun feels tired, very much so, after baring his heart and soul in front of a room full of people that would never really understand.

His whole being yearns for Wooseok, today, more than every other day in his lifetimes.

But in this one, he’s an author. He has duties he must attend to. So he puts on a professional, gentle smile, and starts signing the first book, an excited girl telling him how much he loved it.

Seungyoun still thinks the success isn’t because of his skills. It’s because no matter in what form – a narration, a movie, in real life – it’s impossible not to fall in love with Wooseok. Even as a nameless character in his own book, his presence is so overwhelming that he makes everyone gravitate around him.

Another book is placed under his gaze, this time, closed. He looks up to greet the person, and freezes, because standing over him is Kim Wooseok, _his _Wooseok, looking at him with his big, doe eyes full of tears.

“Seok?” he asks, breathless. He holds up a trembling hand, and their fingers entwine naturally, as if not even a minute had passed.

“It’s me, love,” the other replies, a tear escaping from his eyes. “I finally found you.”

On the table, the book falls open on the first page. Seven words stand out, scribbled in a messy handwriting.

_I’m sorry I took so long._

**Author's Note:**

> if you've reached the end you're the MVP. i love you mwah  
pls tell me how it is! i struggle with flow and narration a lot.  
you can also insult me on [twt](http://www.twitter.com/shad_twt)! <3


End file.
